This year, I have the privilege of celebrating Christmas with a baby boy in my arms. As I hold my wide-eyed son up to a Nativity scene, showing him the angels, the Blessed Mother, St. Joseph, and the Child Jesus, I reflect on what Mary must have felt in her pregnancy and motherhood.
During my pregnancy and preparation for birth, I was overwhelmed by the number of choices I had to make. Should I give birth at a hospital, a birth center, or home? Should I use pain medication during labor? Should I have my baby vaccinated? Will I need to sleep train him? How long should I breastfeed him?
But for the Blessed Mother, there was little that was within her control to prepare for birth. She had to travel during her third trimester, when most women feel the strongest nesting urges to stay put and prepare for their babies. She couldn’t give birth in the comfort of her own home, or even a clean inn room. Instead, she brought her child into the world among barn yard animals.
The Blessed Mother’s “fiat” was a yes to God’s will, and through her, God brought salvation to all. But it was only because she died to herself and surrendered her will, trusting whatever God had in store. Foreshadowing her Son’s sacrifice on the Cross, she sacrificed her own life to love and serve Him.
Each mother, in accepting her vocation, dies to herself to bring life into the world. Each bout of morning sickness, each stretch mark, each contraction during labor, every nursing session reminds her that her body is not merely her own. For the Christian mother, these moments have an even deeper meaning when surrendered and united to the suffering of Christ.
Yet there is another way that mothers can imitate the Blessed Mother — by surrendering control. As I look back on my frazzled attempt to plan the different aspects of my pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, I see a deep fear that I think all mothers struggle with — that my baby will suffer. And I tell myself that by grasping for control I can force the outcome according to my own will, and shield my sweet boy from ever experiencing harm.
As it turns out, my birth did not go according to plan, but my child and I are both happy and healthy. God had a better plan than the one I had written in the notes app on my phone, and He wanted me to trust Him. I experienced God’s tender care for me, my husband, and my baby during that labor. Our sweet Lord reminded me that especially in suffering, He is there alongside us. When my own baby inevitably faces struggling and suffering in this life, I know that Jesus will be there with him, too.
I imagine the consolation that Mary felt after she gave birth, holding the Word Incarnate in her arms and kissing His sweet face. God asked her to trust Him, and comforted her with His presence in the flesh. She knew that throughout her baby boy’s life, she could not shield Him from all harm, but for now, she protected and nurtured Him.
This Christmas, I pray for a heart like Mary’s — a heart full of love, a heart to nurture and protect my baby, a heart ready to sacrifice for my husband, son, and any future children. I pray that my baby boy will know the love of Jesus. I pray that my whole family will rest in the love of Our Lord, just as the Holy Family did at the Nativity.
The post My first Christmas as a mother appeared first on CatholicVote org.